It’s Been Three Years…

From as far back as I can recall I wanted to have kids.  I baby sat for everyone in the neighborhood and adored every child in a stroller at the mall.  When I became Aunt Sue, thanks to Daniel Westby coming into the world, I was awestruck.  I’d never been around a new-born before and he was joyous life itself.  (Dustin soon followed and, well…  he was colicky so not quite as joyous.) 

Thrilled with anticipation I dreamed of the day I’d be a mom, and thankfully in 1986 Ashleigh was born.  She had emotionally grown inside of me for as long as I could remember.  I’m sure I drove Mike crazy having her name already picked out, he had zero input.  We’d been married a little over three years when she was born, and I knew every thing would change once I held her in my arms.  And I was right, it did.   Life as we had known it was over, we were in love and mesmerized by this tiny person.  Just two and a half years later, Hayden joined us and our days together as MASH began.  It was exceptionally great on most occasions.  I’ve shared that my kids are my greatest joy and accomplishment, and I truly feel that part of my purpose in life was to bring them into the world.   Mike and I could not be prouder to be their parent’s!

I share about my family unit today, because honestly, my life began to flourish once it was in place.  Throughout all our family difficulties, and we’ve had some doozies, the four of us are solid.  Sure we have had a few shaky occasions, but never for one moment did I lose sight of our connection, our strong bond.  It’s that bond that got me through the life changing events of three years ago.  I’ve been amazed at how incredibly supportive the three of them have been;  shocked even.  They explain that not only did it affect me; it affected them, almost as if they had also learned they were adopted. Seriously though, they act like it is no big deal.

So, today exactly three years from getting the DNA test results on August 26, 2008…

DNA Results

…I have my advanced copy of MY BOOK in my hand.  (MY BOOK… for real, my name is on the cover!)

Late Discoveries

Late Discoveries, An Adoptee's Quest for Truth

I can hardly type the words.  I’m still stunned when I consider the journey, the changes, the discoveries, and all that has happened in the past three years.  It’s been horribly painful at times, and the process of living, searching, and writing a book has been uniquely challenging.  None of which I could have gotten through if it hadn’t been for Mike, Ashleigh, and Hayden.  They have supported me, mended my heart as needed, and encouraged me in unimaginable ways. They remind me of all the important lessons, things like “this too shall pass.”

While I’m proud beyond measure of Late Discoveries and look forward to sharing it, I want the world to know (okay the several who read my blog) what a difference it makes when those closest to us, never give up on us.  They are the “For sure” and “I’m with you 200%” kind.  I’m so grateful for the outstretched hand, the return phone calls, and even the quick text responses… all adding up to this amazing showering of love.  Honestly, when I’m gripped with confusion or sadness – I get a glimpse of who I am through their eyes and I stand taller, feel hopeful, and press on.  I want to be that person. 

It’s all about now – today, living in the moment and going forward.  I can’t change anything in the past, or adjust what other people did (or myself for that matter); I can only be who I am today.  And today, I’m grateful and proud!

I want to shout from the roof tops how incredibly amazing my family is, and give thanks to them for every single supportive moment, especially in the past three years.  Mike, Ashleigh, and Hayden ~ YOU FILL ME UP! 

Thank you, Hayden for taking such a keen interest and giving us your Documentary Short, denied.

and Ashleigh (and Teri)  for beautifully commemorating my journey.  

FOLAB in stained glass~AMAZING!